Corinne D. -age 80 - Kathleen Cosgrove

Ageing terrified me. I couldn’t think about it, refused to acknowledge it
was happening to me. I didn’t know who this person was, who no longer
attracted other women, who wouldn’t ride a bike or walk in the woods.
Add to that being alone for the first time in my life, and it was a perfect
mixture of physical and emotional trauma.

A few years earlier, an old college friend, whom I had not seen for
many years, came for a visit. I was shocked to see her using a cane
and even falling. My shock became anger, why didn’t she tell me, warn
me, why didn’t she just stay home? Recently the same experience was
turned around on me. A coffeehouse friend invited me to stay with her
for a week’s vacation. From day one, I felt her anger and I knew exactly
how she was feeling. She was angry that I was slower than she was, less
energetic. That kind of experience never would have happened to me 10
years ago.

This month I’ll reach my 80th birthday. Old women are invisible in our
society. No one pays attention to us. More than once, I have spoken out
when a clerk ignores me standing in front of him or her but directs attention
to a younger person behind or beside me.

I am grateful to have work that I can still do, actually do better. I’m not
distracted by chaos at home or worry about the future. I am a surprise to
myself and welcome a newfound confidence and success. Growing older
isn’t easy. I try not to obsess about the physical changes. And each day I
feel a little easier about what I’m doing that day, a little more open to the
possibility of joy.